trauma

The house is well built but the foundation is unstable – a great analogy for attachment and personality

Felicia Chiao’s drawing: “The house is well built but the foundation is unstable” is such a brilliant metaphor for the role of attachment and personality in our psychological makeup. It’s the first 2 to 3 years of our lives that lay the foundation of our emotional lives for the rest of our lives. If were …

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The sicker the relationship, the stronger the bond – trauma bonding and what that means

There are many reasons it’s difficult to leave an abusive relationship. ⁣Some of the reasons are of practical nature, fx. Financial or safety worries. ⁣Others are of a more psychological nature. ⁣One of them is the psychological phenomenon of trauma bonding. ⁣Trauma bonding forms in exploitive relationships. ⁣It’s best described as: “The sicker the relationship, …

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Imprints of trauma are more varied than you realise

This photo, originally from Janina Fisher, PhD, is one that I show quite often to my clients. ⁣The response is usually the same, a quiet moment followed by: “Wow…” ⁣Most people have never seen their pain and symptoms drawn up like this, haven’t made the connection between the symptoms they’re manifesting and their painful experiences …

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How your brain cooperates with your mind to generate your individual reality

Try putting your finger horizontally over the middle, and see how the colours of the blocks change instantly. What before was very distinctively two colours, blend into the very same grey colour. What’s happening here? This is a great example of what is called “top down processing”. Every second of every day, your brain is …

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Witnessing abuse carries the same risk of harm to children’s mental health and learning as being abused directly

Research shows that both the perpetrator and the victim in domestic abuse situations minimize the impact the abuse will have on their children. People tell themselves that the children don’t realise what’s going on, that they never see anything directly, that they were asleep, that they’re to young to understand what’s going on. Its an …

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