There’s a saying that goes like this: Most people prefer the certainty of misery over the misery of uncertainty.
There’s a lot of truth in this saying.
The strongest instinct of all beings is to stay alive. In the big scheme of things, evolution doesn’t give a damn about whether we’re happy or not, as long as we procreate and get our genes out there.
So taking a leap of faith into an uncertain future, even one other people promise will be better for you, really doesn’t make much evolutionary sense, if you think about it.
Another thing that’s really scary about healing is how much work it is. Gabor Maté was once asked in an interview what inscription he’d want on his gravestone, and his reply was: “It was a lot more work than I anticipated”.
And that’s true. It’s layers upon layers of crap that people often have to get through, and those layers are not always (well, seldom, really) comfortable to shed.
It can be daunting. Overwhelming. Exhausting.
It’s a bit like standing in front of Mt. Everest, knowing that even though you got to base camp, it’s not nearly over. Not by a long shot.
And then there’s the third thing.
WHAT IF you heal?
What happens then?
Who are you, if not the person with your specific types of wounds?
Who will you become?
How are you going to navigate the world, what will your new identity be?
So yes.
Healing is fucking SCARY.
So to ALL OF YOU, taking on that journey.
You are my heroes!
I am so friggin proud of you!
And remember that the same principles apply as when walking a mountain: Prepare well. Ask advise from people that have done this before, or even hire a sherpa. Rest in between. And be patient and kind to yourselves.
You got this.
Healing is fucking scary
